TOYS

Now I can take a guess at what you are thinking, Toys, cute guys as play things. WRONG!

The OED defines TOYS as being of acronymal origin, and the meaning is Tugging Off Your Speedo. It goes on to say that TOYS is the ancient and mystical exhibitionist art of exposing yourself by degrees when pulling off your speedo in public, whilst inducing the maximum enjoyment in your audience.

This tanned lovely is a prime exponent of TOYS. He's already wearing next to nothing so there's not that much left to the imagination as it is. And you are forced to wonder how far he will go, pierced nipple, fit body, saucy grin, dancing on a float in a parade, and yet there's no guarantee that your 'Tugger' will go all the way - but that is half the fun of it.

So what is involved in TOYS? Here's a beginner's guide.

1:THE TEASE
A sort of preliminary in TOYS. Will he? Won't he? Hell, they'll watch you anyway.

2: SINGLE HANDED
Don't rush to get your kit off, it is remarkable what can be achieved with just a thumb...

3: THE TWO HANDER
There are guys who have perfected the use of both hands, some think in TOYS this is easier but coordination is all.

4:DELVE
TOYS is meant to be a fun thing, so have fun whilst you do it, don't rush things, take some time to dive into your speedo and have a grope.

5:ASK A FRIEND
TOYS does not have to be a solitary pass time, if there's someone to tug with get them to join in.

6:THE REVERSE VIEW
Regular viewers will know I like the flash of pube, but it's nice to see some butt crack now and again too. In TOYS it's a rookie mistake to neglect the audience behind you. Work that ass guys!

7:POSE

Having tugged you might should pause now and again for the benefit of others. Appreciation by others is integral to the art of TOYS, don't forget that.

8:AND FINALLY
You could just get your knob out, that's always a winner.